Thursday, August 26, 2010

Thoughtful Thursday -- What lies in you?

After my first 3 babies were born it took me between 6 and 9 months to really feel good again.  You know, semi-rested and energized and organized...able to handle it all.  My pregnancy with my last child was really tough and my delivery was terrible and he had acid reflux REALLY bad (for a whole year).  I wasn't very surprised when 9 months passed and I didn't feel good yet.  But after a year and then a year and a half passed and I still didn't feel good I started to worry.  I went to the Dr. with all of my complaints and she started running tests.  I will spare you the details, but just know that I was tested for every possible disease/illness known to man and all of them came back negative.  I have been to multiple Dr.s too and all of them have come up with nothing.  Well friends, after almost 2 years of searching, the Dr.s have finally decided what is "wrong" with me.

Fibromyalgia.

I hate that word.  I hoped that once they figured out what was wrong we would be able to do something about it.  This diagnosis wasn't what I wanted to hear.  Part of the reason is because I have always sort of thought that Fibromyalgia was a fake disease.  One for hypochondriacs or one that Dr.s made up because they were tired of not knowing what the heck was going on.  Not only do I feel ill most of the time, I have eaten about 10 slices of humble pie over the last few weeks.  I know that what I'm feeling isn't some fake illness that I've made up to get attention.  And I know that all of my Dr.s have worked extremely hard to figure out what is wrong with me.  We're trying a few different things as far as treatment goes, but the whole process is sort of hit or miss.  I guess I just haven't wrapped my head around it yet.

As I was searching for an inspirational quote for today's post this one struck me with so much force it almost knocked me out of my chair.  I am strong enough to deal with this and make my life good again.  I am strong enough because what lies in me is from God and He gives us the very best.

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

3 comments:

Steoger Fam said...

I'm so glad they finally gave you a diagnosis. I'm sorry it wasn't what you wanted to hear and I hope you'll be able find a treatment that works for you. You're in our prayers!

Tiana said...

Oh I love you and you are amazing! What lies within you is amazing as well....seriously!

AliLilly said...

I feel exactly the way you do about that disease. Now I'm older and in pain but I keep thinking I'm not "THAT OLD" I've been given that Fibromyalgia stamp too. I kinda rolled my eyes at first but...ya never really know do you? I love the quote too!!! :)